The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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