It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
