I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
