Don't make out with my wife yet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
