I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
