So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
