we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
