WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No...this little piggys going to the bar
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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