so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
