i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
