I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize