I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
