idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
