I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
