woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize