It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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