oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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