Will you blow on my dice?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
