i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
