i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
