Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
