I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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