I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
