Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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