Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
