Pappa wants mamma naked
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The adults are the big ones right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
