omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
