i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
