the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
