I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
