Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
being pregnant is like rehab
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
