Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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