Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
