P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
