real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
