I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
