dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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