There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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