Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
