Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize