If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Randomize