CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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