So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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