it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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