Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
