Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
