she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize