his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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