i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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