Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
