you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
