There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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