Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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