sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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