do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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