I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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