I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
