not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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