I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't deserve a penis
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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