i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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