So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
