I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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