listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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