I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
