At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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