I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
