pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
